People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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