you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
