There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
