Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment