i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I think im going to throw up on grandma
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.