This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
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He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
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I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head