I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Randomize
