The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
