I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize