Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
