Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Just high enough for therapy.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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