If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
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