I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
