If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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