Pregnant stripper...not hot.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Text me some of your sweat
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