just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
