I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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