it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
you would pick up someone in the library
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
You ruined the universe
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
