he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
i dont even know how to be here
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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