I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Someone came in the potted fern
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
