a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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