whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
