It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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