He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize