Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
