5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
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