It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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