I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
