very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
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She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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