Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
