I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
