was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
