dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
if only i could text you this smell
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
