some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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