had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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