Just fell off a train. Bad.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
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