lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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