so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
