In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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