Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Randomize
