ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
She tied me up with her honor cords...
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Randomize
