It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
