u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
