i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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