I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
