I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
My vagina is very pro this idea
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