I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
