Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
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