I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
