i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
