Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
