very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
