She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
