their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.