then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
This is evicking siegelnvs
This is fucking ridiculous*
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
These 21 People Came Up With Hilarious Excuses For Their Hickies
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!