Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(513): View more from Ohio

some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page

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(513): some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page http://tfl.nu/1sgh

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(567): View more from Ohio

I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..

(1-567): View more from Ohio

How so?

(567): View more from Ohio

Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.

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(567): I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand.. (1-567): How so? (567): Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours. http://tfl.nu/38h3

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(856): View more from New Jersey

Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him

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(856): Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him http://tfl.nu/33vk

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(201): View more from New Jersey

It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.

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(201): It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling. http://tfl.nu/90ol

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(302): View more from Delaware

in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am

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(302): in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am http://tfl.nu/qmyh

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(915): View more from Texas

Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.

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(915): Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me. http://tfl.nu/qov1

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat

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(902): The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat http://tfl.nu/pk4p

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(605): View more from South Dakota

They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?

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(605): They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now? http://tfl.nu/s9tm

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!

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(570): ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin! http://tfl.nu/i1tl

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.

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(603): And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol. http://tfl.nu/g84x

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(954): View more from Florida

My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??

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(954): My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted?? http://tfl.nu/5rk7

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(512): View more from Texas

I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.

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(512): I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low. http://tfl.nu/zwn3

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(716): View more from New York

Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!

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(716): Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it! http://tfl.nu/wiz3

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(817): View more from Texas

Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing

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(817): Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing http://tfl.nu/0z5g

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(704): View more from North Carolina

We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.

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(704): We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure. http://tfl.nu/1ib6

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