I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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