youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize