How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
