dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
