is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
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